Awkward Turtle

Yes, I think you should do the hand motion as your reading this!!

Dragon lady came back from being on vacation for an entire week. At first when I first saw her she greeted me enthusiastically and was so refreshing- vacation did her good. So we started to get slammed with work and I had a project to do. At first when she explained what she wanted me to do I was a bit confused...obviously I didn't tell her that. I just had to sit there afterwards and really think about what she just said ya know? Well, nonetheless I figured it out on my own and started to work on it. Its pretty much similar to another project that I normally to have to do and just a different way to do it. Well, she realized the numbers weren't matching up and was getting angry which I don't blame her because I shouldn't be making those mistakes. But I'm human and I swear every day we are updating so much and I just can't keep up at times. Thats not a good thing NOR an excuse by any means. But its just really frustrating when she treats me like crap and makes me feel really shitty about myself. When she said "so these numbers aren't correct?? And we presented the the client like this??" How would a normal person respond? They would say ok I'm sorry. Well, thats exactly what I said and her response "this is not an ok matter." WTF do you want from me? Do you want me to start crying and apologize profusely with one hand and foot in the air?? Anyways later on she was like I need for you to figure out what you did wrong..and back track. Which I was able to and finally it was fine. But she honestly belittles me and to be quite honest I get REALLY tense when she wants me to do things/projects. Its fine I don't mind doing work because thats my job but treat me like a damn human being.

I am just not happy in my position and would love to move to a different department. I spoke with someone on the digital team and they said regardless of my transition I still need to start at the bottom. So what's the point for me to be working a full year in my position which is the COMPLETE opposite of what I want to do. The skills/experience I gain won't be applicable because it has nothing to do with the digital side of things. So what I would like to do is transition into a different position by like month 9-10. I just don't know how..and where to even begin. So pretty much I've been researching and speaking with other people...so we shall see. PLEASE keep your fingers cross and hope I can just do it without dragon lady giving me negative energy. If anything I think she will be relieved ya know?

A magazine rep took the whole team out to dinner at Abe and Auther's. It was soooooo good!!! I mean I could never go on my own because well the prices were a BIT steep..and entree alone was $40. Of course Jessie stole the show and made the whole table laugh. My bosses boss ADORES her and its just really frustrating because everyone loves her. Do I get envious yeah..but I ground myself and make myself feel better. I told a story and it definitely did not have the same response. Depressing? I know. I just feel like I am literally the step-child of my team. Nobody except for Amber really understands me..I seriously think Dragon Lady bad mouthes me. Paranoid? A bit.

I'm meeting Chris tomorrow evening at a wine bar which should be really fun. I'm pretty excited but I don't have high hopes/expectations. He seems to be a really nice, smart, and funny type of guy. PLUS reallyyyy cute hahaha! Mark and I were texting during the evening and when I was at dinner. At one point he goes "what are you doing this weekend? Lets hang out I had so much fun last time!" And me being the sarcastic person said "really? well thats good one us felt that way..haha I crack myself up!!" Well, homeboy clearly didn't get the sarcasm and said "ok well have a good night!" WTF? I figured out match.com seriously its not me!! Its the guys on it...they are the socially awkward guys!!! Thats what it is...and thats the reason why they are on there. For me this is a form of entertainment, free meal, and getting to meet new people SOBERLY!

TOMORROW IS A BRAND NEW DAY AND I WILL CONQUER THE DRAGON SERIOUSLY!