Long time coming

I feel like its been ages since I've written on this thing!! Life has changed significantly for me! I quit my old job at the ad agency and now work at a digital ad network...I got promoted and am getting paid much more! I love my new job and the environment. So absolutely no complaints in the career department!! I work from 10-6 and its nice not having to stay past 7 PM.

I wish before I graduated the professors would have said something on the lines of "college forces people to come together...real world is nothing like that!" I've been trying to put myself out there and meet new people but its hard. I've been pro-active and joined a volleyball league....hilarious right? But I think this is the first step in the right path for me. Love life? Well that is non-existent. I had my first New York asshole experience though...

So I had a pre-game party at my apartment with one of my roommates...and I invited a girl that I went to college with to come. She invited one of her guy friends who then brought one of his friends. We will call him Bobby. Well Bobby and I hit it off...and we made out heavily at the bars. Whatever it happens...well he ended up coming home with me and we hooked up. He said and did all the right things. I fell for it. I thought with my tiny brain that maybe for once I met a nice guy through a friend! Well boy was I wrong. He and I texted back and for about a week. And he asked me to go to happy hour but I was working out at that point. And I reached out to him during the weekend to see if maybe if he wanted to meet up at the bars. Basically- long story short. If a guy was into you he will make every effort to see you and want to hang out with you. This guy not so much. In the beginning he did...but alas, at the end he didn't. So it was hard accepting the fact that "he's just not that in to me" and moving on. I would think what was wrong with ME? What did I DO? When in reality it wasn't me. In fact its his loss! I'm not dumb enough to keep being persistent and try to convince him to like me. That's not fair.

So what can I do to improve myself? Well, for once in my life I accept it that its ok to be single and I should just be me. Yes- there will be days where I wish I had someone to be with and cuddle. But I have to be ok in my own skin.

And Mark..from the previous entries we didn't end up working out. For me there was no va va voom and sparks! I had honestly no desire to meet him up and want to hang out with him. He did make the effort to ask me to hang out..but I never asked hm. So in this case I was the Bobby and he was me! Funny how life is eh?

Hysterical

Today was a pretty eventful day for me. One of the magazines took my team out to Barneys New York to go jean shopping and I got a great new pair of Citizens for free :)! That was a really nice thing.

But prior to my nice thing..I messed at work majorly and my bosses boss told her and she IM's me. I shouldn't have made the mistake that I did and I apologized profusely for it and I also told her that I take full responsibility. And her response was I feel like you just don't get it.....the mag rep had to call us to ask about the order. I know it was my mistake and I regret it. I felt like shit and I basically bawled my eyes for the two hours.

I called my friend Leslie and my brother after the Barneys trip. Leslie and I work together and she is in the same position as I am. Her boss is rough like mine and she makes mistakes frequently. We don't do it intentionally and thats why they are called mistakes. She really understood me and it was just really comforting being able to just have someone get it. My brother brought up an amazing point he said to me that you have to think forward/towards the future. You cannot dwell in the past and let your co-workers/team control your emotions. What can they do to you? Can they hit you or throw you in jail? No! And to be honest if i were to get fired or I won't have to stress about income because I have my family and unemployment assistance. My roommate and I talked about it as well and she brought up a really good point. That everyone from high school, college and entry level positions always get the shitty job because they get taken for granted. But things will get better and it will improve. It sucks not but will improve. I have to just keep telling myself that. I can't cry anymore, my eyes are beyond puffy.

I have decided to go to work 30 minutes early the day before a project is due and I am going to work early tomorrow because I have to fix something that I realized when I came home I made a mistake in. So I am working on me.

My friend Emily recommended me a great book by Micheal J. Fox. So I'll get it :)

Eggs

This past weekend was quite uneventful and I didn't really do much. I basically babysat all weekend and hung out with my family during the evenings. I saw Mark on Saturday night and it was fun! I mean maybe I'm just socially awkward and I don't know. Well, basically nothing happened he like light candles and turned off the lights to watch the movie. We watched The Best in Show a show about dogs..hahaha!!! At the end of the night he didn't even try to make a move? I'm not sure what to do...is it because I'm uninterested? I don't know maybe its something in my brain...*sigh*

Work has been steady and not too crazy because the client is having their yearly meeting in Paris. Its been quite nice not having to really stress out about work...but when they come back its going to be insane all over again! Dragon lady has been quite calm and chill as well...But it has still been a long journey for me to grasp the material. I still thinking about an internal transfer but I think I just need to wait for a bit before doing so. So lets hope it will all work out!! My deadline will be my 9th month!!

My roommate is ridiculous...she asked the other roomie and I if we ate her eggs. WTF? Nobody ate her damn eggs! The roomie and I were like um no..and finally I said well Amy don't you eat a lot of them? And you had some on Saturday and said "well maybe you ate it on Saturday?" and she's like its not a big deal but someone is eating them...WTF? Nobody is eating your damn eggs and she said at one point "you don't need to get so defensive." I swear to god what is wrong with her??

I'm so over match.com and just need to leave it! I am over it like yesterdays salad.

Speechless

Ok first off I'm never the one to EVER be speechless and not have ANYTHING to say. But today was a rare exception. It has nothing to do with work. In fact work was not bad today. I had the ah-ha moment and my friend Kendra pretty much said to me you just gotta suck it up and become the glorified assistant. So I made a sign and hung it up that says "G.A" to remind myself to be the best fucking thing Dragon Lady has ever seen. EVER. But it was a slow day which was nice. I didn't mind it all..and I hope it will continue :)!!

Ok I got off of work at 5 PM which is a rare and NICE treat. I decided to go to the gym since I wasn't meeting Chris till 7:30 at a winebar. I do my workout and come back and eat a Smartone. Obviously that was pretty much my appetizer since I worked out for like an hour. I meet Chris at the winebar and he isn't nearly as cute as the picture. But its ok I can look past the looks and he was tall which was nice. Speaking of tall Mark's profile says he's 6 ft I find that to be bullshit. Anyways we sit down and order a glass of wine..I get a cabnet sauv and he gets a white wine. The waitress brings the food menu and he politely declines...which is fine I guess since the guy normally always pays. The conversation was insane. He would rant about the town positions he father was in which is fine but he just delved in depth about it all and I have no fucking clue what the guy is talking about. So I would interject into the conversation and agree with him or make a comment to keep up with the conversation. Well homeboy just kept on going and pretty much cut me off in the conversation. It almost as if he enjoys listening to himself talk. I was just thinking in my head shut up already jeez!!! Besides the point. The check arrives and I always ALWAYS offer to pay for my half and every single time I've been on a date the guy always ALWAYS says "no its ok I got it." But not Chris he goes "ok!" The bill is $21 and he pulls out his wallet and he has two twenty dollar bills, two fives and a one. Well he didn't want to break his twenties and so he put in $11 cash and I put the rest on my credit card INCLUDING tip!!! I paid $14 dollars and at this point I'm thinking to myself get me out of here seriously!!! I understand he works for the government and probably not getting paid too well. But still that's besides the point!!! I paid $14 dollars and we walk to the subway together and we both said thank you and have a good night. i normally always say thank you for such a great night! We have o do it again. With this guy HELL NO. i'm not stupid!!!

Awkward Turtle

Yes, I think you should do the hand motion as your reading this!!

Dragon lady came back from being on vacation for an entire week. At first when I first saw her she greeted me enthusiastically and was so refreshing- vacation did her good. So we started to get slammed with work and I had a project to do. At first when she explained what she wanted me to do I was a bit confused...obviously I didn't tell her that. I just had to sit there afterwards and really think about what she just said ya know? Well, nonetheless I figured it out on my own and started to work on it. Its pretty much similar to another project that I normally to have to do and just a different way to do it. Well, she realized the numbers weren't matching up and was getting angry which I don't blame her because I shouldn't be making those mistakes. But I'm human and I swear every day we are updating so much and I just can't keep up at times. Thats not a good thing NOR an excuse by any means. But its just really frustrating when she treats me like crap and makes me feel really shitty about myself. When she said "so these numbers aren't correct?? And we presented the the client like this??" How would a normal person respond? They would say ok I'm sorry. Well, thats exactly what I said and her response "this is not an ok matter." WTF do you want from me? Do you want me to start crying and apologize profusely with one hand and foot in the air?? Anyways later on she was like I need for you to figure out what you did wrong..and back track. Which I was able to and finally it was fine. But she honestly belittles me and to be quite honest I get REALLY tense when she wants me to do things/projects. Its fine I don't mind doing work because thats my job but treat me like a damn human being.

I am just not happy in my position and would love to move to a different department. I spoke with someone on the digital team and they said regardless of my transition I still need to start at the bottom. So what's the point for me to be working a full year in my position which is the COMPLETE opposite of what I want to do. The skills/experience I gain won't be applicable because it has nothing to do with the digital side of things. So what I would like to do is transition into a different position by like month 9-10. I just don't know how..and where to even begin. So pretty much I've been researching and speaking with other people...so we shall see. PLEASE keep your fingers cross and hope I can just do it without dragon lady giving me negative energy. If anything I think she will be relieved ya know?

A magazine rep took the whole team out to dinner at Abe and Auther's. It was soooooo good!!! I mean I could never go on my own because well the prices were a BIT steep..and entree alone was $40. Of course Jessie stole the show and made the whole table laugh. My bosses boss ADORES her and its just really frustrating because everyone loves her. Do I get envious yeah..but I ground myself and make myself feel better. I told a story and it definitely did not have the same response. Depressing? I know. I just feel like I am literally the step-child of my team. Nobody except for Amber really understands me..I seriously think Dragon Lady bad mouthes me. Paranoid? A bit.

I'm meeting Chris tomorrow evening at a wine bar which should be really fun. I'm pretty excited but I don't have high hopes/expectations. He seems to be a really nice, smart, and funny type of guy. PLUS reallyyyy cute hahaha! Mark and I were texting during the evening and when I was at dinner. At one point he goes "what are you doing this weekend? Lets hang out I had so much fun last time!" And me being the sarcastic person said "really? well thats good one us felt that way..haha I crack myself up!!" Well, homeboy clearly didn't get the sarcasm and said "ok well have a good night!" WTF? I figured out match.com seriously its not me!! Its the guys on it...they are the socially awkward guys!!! Thats what it is...and thats the reason why they are on there. For me this is a form of entertainment, free meal, and getting to meet new people SOBERLY!

TOMORROW IS A BRAND NEW DAY AND I WILL CONQUER THE DRAGON SERIOUSLY!

Relaxation.

I went to the Jersey Shore this weekend to see one of my best friends from my sorority...and my roommate from college and in my sorority came as well. It was the most perfect weekend ever. I really appreciate the suburbs, trees, cars, a house, etc. SO much since living in the city. The weekend was filled with sun, beach, sailing, lots and LOTS of eating. I went to my first NJ bar called Bar A (it stands for Anticipation lol) I must say I was one of the classier broads at the bar. These girls work shirts as dresses with push up bras and I've never seen so many guys in printed t-shirts, chains, and more importantly they had more products in their hair compared to mine!! The weather was soo perfect for laying out and sailing. I literally ate myself silly there..my friends parents were SO sweet..and I loved how accommodating they were to all my needs (which i didn't have any lol but still its the thought that counts!)

I went on a date tonight with Ken. He is the lawyer...really nice guy and easy on the eyes. I figured out his flaw which is so bad of me..but he is the male laughter of Fran Dresher. Like the nasal hahahaha laugh. But between Mark with Nathanal Lane laugh and this guy..sheesh! But it was fun on the date. We both had great conversations and drink wine :).

After writing like 20 LONG e-mails back and forth with Chris I finally just made the move and said lets hang out sometime! So we are meeting for drinks on Thursday...he is super cute. But god knows what his voice/laugh will be like. I hope it will be fun because he seems so funny and legit.

There is another guy in the picture and he sent me a VIP e-mail...on Match.com you get to send ONE vip email a week and he sent it to me. I felt kinda special lol as corny as that sounds. But he seems to be kinda cute but we shall see how that ends up.

I can't believe its already June!! Where has the time flown?? I guess summer is here and I can finally relax a little!!

Sardines

Like every morning getting onto the elevator in my work building is a game to me. The game is called How Many People can you Fit into a Small Elevator without it Breaking Down? Fun game right? It is absolutely absurd when the elevator is packed annnd there is that one asshole who crams themselves into it last minute...as in the door is slowly shutting and they put their hand out to stop it. Can you really not wait max 2 WHOLE MINUTES, or 120 seconds for the next available elevator? Really people??

Last night after work a magazine rep took us to a class called Soul Cycle. Its a cycling class in a room that is 150 degrees for 45 minutes. Needless to say I am so sore right now but its a good kind of soreness. At the end of the class they include an arm session which again needless to say my arms are super sore.

I can't let Amber or Jessie bring me down. Amber joined in the Soul Cycling class yesterday and we chatted for a while...but at times she can be really snippy with me. Which I think she has no right to do..its ill mannered. Granted I can be at times as well. But I CAN'T LET THEM BITCHES BRING ME DOWN :)!

Chris is so freaking cute and we write really long messages to each other. But homeboy has YET to ask me on a date! Why?? The amount we talk via on-line what are we going to talk about in person?? Seriously...wtf? There is another guy named Mike and he seems nice..we shall see.

Brand New

So I have decided that I needed to change my attitude and become a "can do person"!!! I can do anything my heart and soul desires. Dragon lady, frenemies, assholes, douche bags, meanies, etc..cannot bring me down because I'm a good person. And more importantly as Rosie the Riveter said "we can do it!"

I haven't been sleeping that well lately, I'm not sure why. I can't decide if I have somethings on my mind or if I just rile myself up before bed. But I sleep with an eye mask on and I think I am having an allergic reaction to it..its a bit pink and and dry around my eyes. Crazy right??

Well, I have picked up a babysitting job on the weekends! Its so nice to have extra income for a rainy day and more importantly, I can pay my credit card bills. I gotta support my lifestyle hahaha!! Shopping in New York is such a tease...horrible!! I need to stop asap. Get this..the child is four years old and isn't potty trained yet. He doesn't tell me when he has to go pee and instead has accidents. And no he doesn't wear diapers. Well, we were waiting in line and he was tired and wanted me to pick him up. So I did obviously- he's my employer hahahaha :):)! As I was holding him I said, "do you have to go potty" and he simply replied with "no". My hands was warm and wet...the CHILD PEED IN MY HAND! ugh. Disgusting. But when the check was written to me I didn't mind hahaha

I've been doing Match.com still and there are three new guys :)! SUPER cute and so much fun!! I'm trying to go on some more dates right? Might as well play the field...but I am still talking to Mark. We hung out last night at his apartment..and texted the whole weekend. It was somewhat refreshing seeing him in a different light. We watched Law and Order and ordered in food....so nice to just relax . Well the funniest thing happened...it was on commercial and it was a match.com one. OMG i felt so awkward...and I didn't say a single word. I mean i guess at one point we have to acknowledge it?? Right?? Anyways..We talked majority of the time. But what kills me the most is...he still hasn't made a move! WTF? You would think this guy would try to atleast...well i did sit in the chair again hahahahahahaa oopsies :)

Curve balls

So much has been going on this week. And its only a WEDNESDAY!

I'm not quite sure what type of mood I am...maybe tired and a bit emotional.

I feel like going to work every day is literally getting ready for a battle. Maybe its the profession I decided to choose or maybe it has to do with my boss. I have been fucking things up at work...making stupid careless mistakes. Which I accept and have apologized for doing so. However, I am a human being, and people should take in account my learning curve. On Monday my boss was ridiculous. I had to update, export and format excel spreadsheets along with programs as well. Sounds easy and quick right? Well- WRONG! I was at the office till 10 PM on a MONDAY night! My first day back from the weekend. No worries- my boss left me high and dry at 6. I came back to my desk and she had put on her jacket and was walking towards the door. She gave me a list of things to do. I guess it is true that when you are the lowest on the totem pole you really have it hard. That's one thing I wish college taught me. How the real world is nothing like internships/summer jobs at all. I thought I had seen it all with my internships but NOPE. This is a damn roller coaster..and I'm learning. Today college graduates have the twinkle and hopeful look in their eyes...I just want to pull them aside and say GO BACK TO SCHOOL!! The real world is not fun at all in fact it sucks. You know when you first graduate from college you think to yourself I can do whatever I want to do and be whatever I want to be. You don't really think much of obstacles nor the people you come across. I have to admit from where I was freshly college graduate to where I am now (4 months later) I have learned and experienced a lot.

This past Saturday I went for a run in Central Park and came across this cute little old man. He was holding a cane, book and a bottle of water. I approached him and asked if he would like some company. He was delighted! We walked and talked for a while...well I did most of the talking! He has asthma and couldn't talk as much while walking. But so nice and he complimented on my kindness. I didn't do it because of the compliment. I did it because I wanted to talk to someone and maybe meet a friend. Nonetheless, he invited me to his reading at a church on Monday evening. I wasn't able to make it because I was stuck at work! Woo. The life I live right??

Oh match.com- Hahahahah god where do I even begin? Well, I think Mark officially hates me...not quite sure why. But we haven't spoken since Monday (I know two days ago..) but the balls in his court. I'm not going to make anymore effort even though I did on Monday. Ya know? Erik is so nice! He has been so patient with me since I've been so busy with work and all but I'm hoping to see him soon! Sean? Well, we've been texting back and forth so we are supposedly hanging out this weekend. I won't hold my breath. Thats it for the guy department now.

So curveballs. I guess when life and things happen unexpectedly you just have to deal. I sometimes hate my life/job but I have to deal. Theres no better way to say that. It sucks. But I'm a grown up.

long time

Woo! It's been a while since I last updated...did you miss me??

Clearly :) you have...well don't fret my lovelys I have plenty to update.

So first off- My new roommate is amazing! We get along so well and we've decided to move in together woo!! Exciting right? Life's kinda funny to be quite honest. Before I moved to New York I really didn't have that many friends nor did I know that many people. But since I've moved here I've put myself out there and really tried. I have been so blessed to have lived with three amazing girls. Each one of them has taught different things about life. I am so grateful to know them!

I was deadly ill all day yesterday. No clue what was wrong with me because the day before I was healthy like a mule. Then BAM Wednesday morning fever, chills, body aches, etc. I still pushed through and went into work..I lasted for oh about 30 minutes before telling the dragon lady I had to go home. She was really kind and very persistent for me to go. I was quite shocked..even though we had a lot of work to do. Before I left I told her where I had left off for work and she said she would do the rest. Again another shocker. I slept all day and went to the doctors. Literally I got out of bed for two things: bathroom and food. I don't think I've ever slept this much before...not even in college.

Mark and I have been texting more and more frequent. He's a really nice guy and I finally had a break through with him! He got my jokes/sarcasm. Sheesh finally right?? Took him long enough..and he keeps priding himself on being such a nice guy. But I keep teasing him and saying you a mean guy...still has a lot to learn. I told my mother about him obviously not how we know each other. She would have a heart attack kidding me?? Well, first thing she said how old is he and what does he do for a living. When I answered all three questions she said he's too mature for you and you guys aren't on the same page. I can totally understand that...here is a guy who is established, stable and is living on his one. Me? I have two roommates, unstable, new to the city, and trying to figure out what I want to do in life. But we both enjoy each others company and he is entertaining hahaha!!

This brings me to another point age- So this guy messaged me and we chatted briefly..we agreed to do a date. He is quite good looking and established as well. HOWEVER- he is 33 years old. That is 10 years older than I am. My friend is dating a guy that is 36 years old and she is so in love with him. She is one of my best friends and always said to me age is just a number. I don't know if I can get past it...Is age just really a number? To me I feel like this guy and I are on two separate pages in life! I mean Mark is 27 which is a 5 year difference...but this guy is a 10 years difference! I know I shouldn't be thinking like thist but when he was 20 I was only 10 years old...in the 4th grade!!! Creepy right? But then Andrea Tutu brought up two good points her grandparents are 11 years a part and were married for 40+ years, and she said when he's 80 your 70. That doesn't seem too bad right? I guess I shouldn't think in the past? Well, I did my leap of faith and agreed to do dinner with him on Saturday. Hey it can be a free meal and a good story right?

Well, I went back to work today. Guess what? Dragon lady didn't do what she said she was going to do! I was beyond swamped since I missed a day of work and today was busy as well. So double the amount. Errrr..it's ok life goes on and my health is much more important. I have chosen what my summer Fridays will be used for! I can't wait for summer because it will not only be dress season butttt warmer weather!! New York feels like winter again brrrr!

Friendship

This weekend has been crazy! My company was sponsoring a huge event and well I had to attend them...and lets just say I don't regret it :)! I got to hug Oprah Winfrey, pretty much touching distance to Mary J Blige, Jennifer Hudson, Dr. Oz, and others.

But I am physically and mentally drained right now...so sleepy!!

So weekend updates

Friday: went for a run with Amber and I told her about how I joined match.com and the first thing she said to me was "can we please tell jessie??" and its like wtf?? I am confiding in you and you shouldn't want to blab to another person. That's just not realy nice to be quite honest. My opinion that is...and at night I met up my group of guy friends and my roommate came along! It was our first bonding experience..she is such a sweetie. She took me to a party with her friends and we had so much fun :):) stayed out waaaaay too late because I had to get up so early the next day!! Mark texted me and wanted to meet up..but he passed out. Erick called me on his way back down south for mothers day but I got his voicemail when I returned it.

Saturday: Work event all day and took a nap when i got back. Mark texted me later on and asked me what I was up to..and I told him nothing but not wanting to drink because I had to wake up really early the next day. He agreed and didn't want to drink either. But he was meeting a friend for dinner and wanted to meet up afterwards. After texting back and forth he suggested a movie at his place...ok to be quite honest I was really hesistant..he seems like a nice guy but god forbidden something could have happened to me. He could have been a crazy lunatic or something!! But from what I knew of him...I went hahaha. Good decision?? I'm not quite sure...I wasn't OVERLY excited to be going to his place because I was scared he was gonna make a move and try to hook up with me. Ok so the layout of his apt (he lives by himself-HUGE plus!) he has a couch and a chair. I purposely chose the chair because I didn't want to sit on the couch with him...ya know incase he tried to make a move on me or something! But it was fun the conversation was good and I always have fun. The va va voom is still not there but I'm gonna stick this one out?

Sunday: woke up at 5:30 am for a charity walk. EXHAUSTED! Nothing really special happened today...but I went to church and got there a bit early. I was there alone and sitting by myself there was a girl behind me and I thought why not? Why shouldn't I try and meet someone new? Do something new for a change..so I turned around and said Hi whats your name? And we had such a great conversation we sat next to each other at church. Got to really know her and we are in the same boat! New to NYC only shes in culinary school (how cool right??) and we exchanged numbers and said we are so hanging out!! I'm really glad I met her :) and I even said I'm not coming onto you and she goes good..hahaha good laugh!! It wasn't awkward either. The pastors sermon was incredible to say the least. His topic of choice was Friendship. Here are the key points that I walked away with:

1) Potential friendship is built between common interest there are TWO things to transform a potential friendship into a good friendship: Transparent vulnerability and loyalty.

2) Those two things will automatically change any potential friendship into a lasting one...but heres the problem. In today's society not everyone can give those two things TOGETHER..there is an unbalance to it. In New York its hard because everyone wants to protect themselves and not get hurt.

3) There are two types of social groups in NYC one being co-workers and people in the same network (career wise) and social group ie romantic interests. There isn't an happy medium why is that? Like I said in point two people don't want to be vulnerable and lose. They gotta protect themselves.

4) A good friend isn't just there for you when your happy, they are there for you when its the hardest time to face the scary/hard things in life. Kinda like how God is there for you.

5) This was my favorite he said "we are hypercritical self imaged puzzles...we have shame, pride, superficial, etc within us...we let society dictate us...and that needs to stop"

I really enjoyed todays sermon because I've been feeling like in the dumps lately. I feel alone and sometimes regret moving to nyc. After hearing his sermon I realized everything was gonna be ok...it was very reassuring :)

Thrill

So last night I went to the bars with my guy friends and we had an very interesting discussion. They don't believe in dating girls which totally blew my mind but instead, of having sex the first time they meet them...then from there they decide what they want to do ie: date or not. I believe that a girl should wait to have sex after dating the guy and getting to know them. Who wants a one night stand? In my opinion- I think a girl should wait and get to know the guy first. But I can't say I haven't had a one night stand before because that would be a complete lie. Andrea Tutu made a great point during our phone date she said women since the beginning of time think long term ie: pregnancy, having children, family, etc. Where as men see things as short term and want to spread their seed.

Mark and I have been texting each other. I failed to mention that on the date he told me he use to be on a skee ball league. I'm not sure if thats funny or weird? But anyways, the texting has gotten a bit better...I just need him to give me more zing and sarcasm. Is that too much to ask for?

Work was alright nothing special. Amber was a bit rude today..we had a special cocktail hour and afterwards their was a this trivia thing. I turned to her and said "do you want to stay and play?" And she said "I'm horrible at trivia and no thank you!" so we both walked back to our desk. As soon as she heard Jessie was over at trivia she high tails back over and at this time I'm sitting back at my desk. So its like whatever...and one of the prizes was a camera for the winning team. Well, next thing I know she comes back with Jessie and their prizes. Its one thing to say you don't want to play but another to blatantly not want to hang out ya know? I find that to be quite childish.

Working girl.

So i decided to ultimately cancel my date with OAR. I know bad right? But first off I'm not in the mood this is going to sound so bratty but I don't need three dates in one week. Plus I am going to a client function after work! So legit reasoning.

Mark has been texting me which is nice..I just can't tell if he is just "too nice" I know that’s bad…really I do. I’ve been dating assholes, douche bags, mean MEAN boys and now a nice guy comes along and I’m not really taking the bait. I’m not saying I’m perfect by ANY means. But I feel like I am a really sarcastic person and he doesn’t understand my sense of humor. Is it too much to ask for a witty sarcastic guy? Ok here is part of our conversation:
Mark: your way spoiled (this is about my job and how I get off at 5 PM at times)
Me oh hush your just jealous of my low paying entry level job!
Mark: I’ve been in the low positions and gotten off of work at midnight
Me: I guess I’m more efficient at my job compared to you 
Mark: Or your at a better company 
WHY CAN’T YOU BE SARCASTIC WITH ME???? Is that too much to ask for?? My friend B was saying how a nice guy can be bland..bland is like a 60 degree weather day. I can’t tell but I’ll give this guy a chance. I need something new right?? Then my friend Bradley said “I bet he’s a cool guy u just need to let him warm up to you, you don’t wanna be a sarcastic jerk before you know a girl” SO TRUE. Again another reason to give him a chance…
Work has been ok…dragon lady didn’t bit my head off which was a shocker ! She was refreshingly kind today…maybe she did get laid again!!!!!!!

Long Day

Today was hectic at work...my pile seemed to be never ending and would just get bigger and bigger. Dragon lady (my boss) was on my case today. I know I make mistakes and I own up to them but its frustrating when I ask questions she give me attitude or makes me feel guilty. Thats one of the main reasons why I mess up is because I get so nervous when I ask her questions. I have anxiety/stress every time I see, hear, or get e-mails from her. She makes me feel less confident about my job and thats not a good thing. I came home crying to my mother and just explaining how I felt. She wasn't very sympathetic because I made the mistakes and she said be more careful. Which is quite true. But I just feel like my boss not only belittles me but also makes me feel shitty. She doesn't treat any other person like that..in fact its quite opposite- she's really friendly towards other people. I need to stop complaining!!

I went on a date tonight with Erick aka Peace Corp guy. Really nice and we hit it off...at times there were awkward pauses and quiet stares. Super cute, friendly, preppy, and really nice. However, at one point he turned me off. I don't want to get married anytime soon but, he was like I don't wnat to meet the girl of my dreams right now. And its like oh wow...and I agreed with him to an extent. I don't want to get married till im like 28. But still isn't that weird?? Overall, great time and he asked for a second date. He asked me if I was seeing anyone else and I was truthful and said yes I am. And his response was "am I gonna have to take him out?

Going on another date on Wednesday (OAR guy)

Exhausted

This weekend has been so insane. I have been going non-stop and I am officially exhausted and don't even want to think about going to work/what this week will be like. My family came up to NYC for the weekend and I was able to spend a lot of time with them. I went to Coney Island for the very first time and it was different in an interesting way. It wasn't nearly as trashy as I thought it would have been instead quite the opposite. Hung out with them pretty much all weekend...and babysat Friday and Saturday night.

On Saturday night however, I was watching School of Rock then my phone rang. And it was a number I didn't know..and I answered it. It was Peace Corp guy!! He called me to have a phone date hahahahaha!! I was obviously like say whaaat? He was driving back from Long Island and had some time to kill so he thought of me. Well isn't that sweet? We chatted for a while and the conversation was actually pretty good..no weird awkward pauses. But it was just kinda middle school-ish. Why not ask me on a date? Instead of doing this phone date thing? But at the end of the conversation he did ask me to dinner/drinks. So we agreed Monday evening at 7:30! Aka-tomorrow night.

Mark- we texted for a bit on Friday evening and then again Saturday. He ended up meeting me out on Saturday night at my friends birthday party. I was with my group of guy friends and they are a hoot. I love them to pieces but sometimes they can get on my nerves. They don't do it intentionally but its almost like I have to babysit them and hang out with just them. I am a social butterfly I enjoy meeting people and talking to other people. Well it was me, Same, and Fred that were at the bar. Mark came a little bit afterwards and they weren't very inviting and very chatty with him..which kinda made me mad. Because I had to just talk to them and kinda ignore Mark. Well, as the night went on they found their groove and I was able to just talk to Mark. At first I felt a bit uneasy because someone asked how we knew each other to him and I over heard. And its not that I am embarrassed that we know each other through Match.com but obviously, I'm not proud of it. I am know sure what he responded with but I am pretty sure he didn't mention match. But we had fun at the bar and ended up going to Mcdonalds afterwards and had a ball! I took a cab home and passed out.

My father arrived in New York at 6 AM today and I had to go pick him up. Mind you that I went to bed at 4 AM. Am I a good daughter or what?? Came back to my apartment and passed back out for a couple of hours. Woke up and took him around the city. We had so much fun together and I love him so so much!! We ended up seeing the rest of my family and had brunch with them and that is always a treat. And by 5 PM I dropped him back off to the bus station. Yes my father is insane and only came up for ONE DAY.

I had dinner plans this evening with Mark..and I'm not gonna lie. I wasn't looking forward to it..not because I was tired or anything but because I felt like there was no sparks/chemistry/za za zoom between us. I know that sounds awful but its the truth. I was contemplating on backing out because I wasn't in the mood. However, I sucked it up and just dealt with it. And I'm really glad I went on the date with him. He is a really nice guy, funny, charming, cute, BUT I wish he was like 3 inches taller. Thats my one thing!! His voice still cracks me up but I look past it because he is a good guy. I am not forcing myself to actually like him...he is growing on me and these things take time. We talked about the night before because he blacked out at certain points and I told him how he called himself fat and I agreed with them. And also, how I am so mean to him in general. Again fun time. When he walked me to the subway I was praying to god that he wouldn't kiss me. Is that weird?? I mean I just don't think I am ready and its waaaaaaay too soon. I want to still get to know him. He opened up tonight we talked about our parents, friends, etc. So overall- a really great night with him!

Sean- I was so nervous that he didn't understand my humor and wasn't interested in me. Don't ask me why. But nonetheless, he did respond and we are meeting next weekend!

OAR- I am meeting him either wed/thurs to do a beer garden? I don't know how I feel. I don't like doing "just drinks" as a date..I like to eat and get to know someone. Maybe I'm not much of a huge beer drinker. It kinda turns me off a little bit...but we shall see!!

Kimberly.

This entry is dedicated to my friend Katrina.

My friend Katrina is a complete sweet heart. I am so fortunate to have known her through college and we have just stayed in touch constantly. She is absolutely ridiculous in a drunken, crazy, fun, weird, and loving way. Katrina is one of a kind (in a great way ps!!) She met this guy Henry on my birthday actually :) and he went to the same school as us as well. He is a year older than us and works in the business field. Seemed like a nice guy and obviously a bunch of drinks later the exchanging of phone numbers allowing with saliva occurred. They stayed in touch and would see each other randomly and rendezvous! Katrina didn't have the same feelings for Henry as Henry did for Katrina..So long story short- They met up at the college drinking function went back to Katrinas place and did some heavy make outing. Katrina's roommates enter and start screaming at the poor guy and kicked him out. Henry has a really bad temper and attitude in fact it has shown in the past. He yelled at all three and told Katrina that she was a bitch along with her roommates and for her not to contact him again. One of the roommates broke his sunglasses by snapping it in half. Afterwards Katrina was distressed and was hysterically crying. A couple weeks go by and she gchats me and says "I want to call him and apologize for everything...and to set the record straight that I'm not like the roommates" and I simply replied with "don't do it..trust me it will make you look desperate in this situation and plus he isn't good enough." Ladies- we've all been in that situation regardless of what your best friends, god, your talking cat and dog says you don't listen to them because you do what YOU want to do. I've been there and done that. You learn from you mistake. Well, Katrina being the nice soul she is...bought Henry a new pair of sunglasses for a mere $90. And texts me to tell me this. I told her she was crazy and she shouldn't do it. Why? Because if this guy was a GOOD guy he would come forth and say listen what happened the other night wasn't cool and I don't appreciate any of it. And if he really cared enough he would make the effort. I don't like Henry as you can tell.

Work today was low key. Like I said in previous entry my boss was in a good mood once again. Amber today e-mails me and says "you've been awfully quiet..is everything ok??" And I just want to say "no its not ok..in fact I'm so sick and tired of watching you and Jessie giggle about some inside joke..I feel like I'm in the flipping seventh grade again." Its like those cool girls and you just want to be like them..buy the same clothes, flip your hair the way they have it and even practice their demeanor. But instead I said "no nothing is wrong just busy with work" MOTHER F'ER called me out and said "thats a lie...we all have the same work load and its been slow...haha." umm ok how the hell do you respond to THAT? So I quickly changed the subject... I have been pretty good and not taking it personal. But its rough.

I went for a good run today around Central Park and now I am so sore. I struggled at first but then picked up my pace and really found my breathing pattern. Central Park makes me appreciate the nature and how beautiful it really is. I run around the reservoir and it looks all the way to the upper west side around 96th street. Breath taking its water and sky scrapers together..I should take a picture one of these days. But as I was running I was doing some thinking (wow a first right??) and it hit me! I can meet guys on-line via match.com. But what about my friends?? I realized that I really don't have that many friends here and how I WANT a close group of girlfriends. This is the first time in my life really that I don't have a set group of girlfriends I can call and say hey wanna grab a meal or maybe a cup of joe?? I've put myself out there for instance- when I was at the gym there was a girl in front of me and her pants were completely see through when stretching and she had a bright pink thong. So after class I told her and introduced myself and asked where she was from. She thanked me and told me..then walks away. So much for befriending a new person at the gym! Homegirl probably thought I was hitting on her!

I need to start going to my meetup.com groups. I just don't know where else I can meet people..work is impossible because of the double mint twins. The other girls that I am friends with seem to be involved with their own lives and well I can only do but some much right?

Nothing new today on match. I think I scared off sean...maybe I am too mean? I legit can't do anything this weekend and I may have to cancel on Mark because of my family coming to visit. Should I send him a message saying listen I hope you didn't take my previous message to heart because I do have a legitimate reason...ugh!! Whatever. I don't care enough. Cracker winked at me..I can't if he is one of those creepy guys because pictures kinda have weird but then CUTE ones?? I guess I should wink back. What is up with this winking thing??

I feel like I just need to be patient with everything I do and in my life. Things take time and I am slowly adjusting my lifestyle with New York. Its been a bumpy road thus far. But I guess I should buckle up and put on a helmet. Speaking of helmet I've decided that one day I am going to be THAT person that rollerblades in Central Park. Not only will I be rollerblading- but I will also be wearing a helmet, BRIGHT PINK biking shorts, with matching top and more importantly elbow and knee pads! I will be picking up men left and right :).

Spoiled!!!!!!!!!!

Today at work was actually really nice surprisingly! My boss was really happy AND nice. Quite refreshing. I was given more responsibility today which is good because that means my superiors believe in me now. The most mortifying thing happened to me. So I listen to Pandora and one of my ALL time favorites came on This Will Be An Everlasting Love. For those of you that don't know me personally I jam out hard core ie: bopping of the head, mouthing of words, and more importantly dancing. My college dance professor (one time class) called me Hurricane Katrina because I was all over the place :) (shout out to Bradley!) My office is an open space and we have no cubicles...stupid I KNOW! Well my boss and her boss were discussing some matters and I receive an IM that said "sing it loud and proud!" I look to my right and everyone is watching me. I can feel my face turn bright red. My bosses boss said I was Tina Turner while highlighting and doing Excel spreadsheets. Gah.

And another thing about my boss- hilarity ensues. She comes over to my desk and sit down in a serious manner

and says "when you send e-mails to the client you should not have an exclamation marks in it. It is not a hip hip hooray message nor is it an angry e-mail. And I'm not a fan of exclamation marks. It has to be worthy of it in order for me use it." She is looking me dead in the eye when saying this. I am trying so hard not to laugh because I LOVE EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She clearly is an unhappy person. How can you not love them??

Tonight we had a client dinner which is always a nice treat! We went to the Waverly Inn and I've never been before. First off, the ambience of the place was AMAZING! So warm and cozy. Secondly, food was phenomenal. I ordered this shortrib entree and for an appetizer I had octopus salad. I am drooling thinking about my food. We all shared truffle macaroni and cheese along with truffle french fries. I LOVE TRUFFLES. Needless to say had it not been a client dinner I probably could not afford it. Sadly to say.

Sooo I have three dates lined up! Woo. I guess things are slowly looking up??

I am meeting Mark tentatively on Sunday. Date number two! I guess I didn't scare him off yet.

OAR on either Wednesday or Thursday. I can't tell if he is that cute..not trying to sound superficial by any means. But sometimes I feel like pictures don't do it justice. Seems like a nice guy.

Sean sometime next week as well! He is so funny! Here is our most recent conversation:

Sean: hmm, after reviewing your answers (painting yourself as a grouchy, humorless horse), you sound like a Perfect match for me! Would you be free sometime this weekend? either to grab a drink or some food?

Me: Did you ever watch Sesame Street growing up? I'm Oscar. I can't meet this weekend I'm so sorry! It's because your too nice of a guy...Just kidding hahaha! I already have plans. But next week?

YAAAY Peace Corp guy messaged me back!! And I was thinking he wasn't interested. We are basically the same person in the same position ie- new to NYC and trying to figure things out. He wants to start talking on the phone...which I find kinda weird? I mean I would much rather go on an actual date rather then sitting around and having a phone conversation. What would we discuss about? The weather? I mean when your on an actual date you can talk about anything and feed off each others actions/body language. But on the phone thats weird...I'm an awkward person and well weird too. But I do have to admit I love talk to my girlfriends on the phone and I'm sure as hell good at it too :).

Whimsical

Today was a slow day at work which was nice. My boss was a bit nicer and I don't really have much complaints in that department. My friend Sarah who works on a different account than me..we had a great discussion about my job. I currently work for a traditional division and would like to switch over to the technological field..we both agreed that I should switch over in a few months. However, by doing so I will need to speak with my boss..which is a conversation I AM NOT looking forward too. Can you imagine what it would be like? She would probably eat my head off and then spit it back out.

I went to the gym for the first time in a while WOO! I know no more complaining. It was beyond what I needed..I feel so much better about myself and I treated myself with half a cupcake :). I chatted with Andrea Tutu tonight and as always the conversation was great! She's my better half and we talk about random things but its just nice hearing her voice :). So in the midst of eating my cupcake prior to my conversation with Andrea Tutu...I received a lovely text message from Mark! He said "Hey I was wondering if you be interested in getting together again sometime??" Sooooo date number two. We struggled a bit trying to figure out a day because I have plans this weekend and he isn't available on Thursday evening. Which I question- is he going on another date? And it took him about 2 hours to respond to my text message..was he on a date? I mean those are legit questions. So we decided on a day at the end however, I'm in charge of picking them place. GREAT.

Match.com is struggling at the moment...I haven't heard back from the Peace Corp OR Erick. Its ok though I'll survive. Looking back I feel like Erick doesn't understand my sense of humor...I replied with a dry sarcastic way. I guess I shouldn't be like that huh? And Peace Corp guy I specifically asked questions back like he did to me!! Oar guy asked me to do drinks...we shall see how that goes. And another thing...I replied to this guy and he never responded back..uh YEAH he was on an hour ago?!?!?! Wtf.... seriously? FML moment.

And on that note I shall leave you with an interesting story line I found in a magazine:

45 MPH was the speed a woman was driving while shaving her crotch and crashed into a pole in Florida. (Crazy cats I tell ya.)

Phat

God do you remember that word "phat" and all the cool kids would say "man thats so phat!" well tonight peeps..I FEEL FAT not PHAT but mildly obese. I have no self control when it comes to food. Tonight I had a client dinner and we ordered appetizers and I gorged myself into oblivion and then on top of that I ate my whole entree. Fatty? I know.

So this is going to be a somewhat gross topic but I think it needs to be addressed. I think it is absolutely disgusting AND rude when people do not clean up after themselves in the bathroom. It is so gross to see what people do after they are finished with their business. We aren't 5 years old anymore people and believe it or not there is a button you press to FLUSH. Or maybe if you decide to squat (which is what I do) do piss all over the seat. I always make sure the next person has a pleasant time when I'm done. Its disgusting to have to look at each stall to make sure its usable!! We are grown ups. Seriously!!

Ok so I've decided to make myself feel better about Match.com I've come up with this logic. I am technically blind dating..only my friends aren't the ones setting me up. I am :). So see blind date is the same thing as match.com! Violaaa!

Erik- aka peace corp guy messaged me back! Eeeek! :):)

"Its great to hear back from you. I hope you had a decent weekend. Its cool to meet someone else who is new to nyc especially being that you are from the south. How are you liking it here so far? What type of work do you do? I am trying to get started in international trade and am currently brokering ethanol, but might reverse commuting to Connecticut soon and doing operations for trading group up there." (Ok first off great on the questions! He wants to get to know me secondly, seem soo nice and genuine! No worries def responded!)

Sean- Asian guy seems to be quite on par with his humor and personality. I like it already! he said-

"Whew! Thanks for letting me pass. I was sure I was missing the most important criteria, but thankfully you let me slide...

Now for my extensive checklist...

A) do you like to smile?
B) can I make you smile?
C) do you eat quietly w your mouth closed?
D) would you like to meet up w me sometime and hangout?"

TOO PRESH! Like him already and I gave him quite the sarcastic replies hahaha :)

I only received two messages..how sad is that?? I feel so lame...thats kinda lonely...

Weekend/DATE night

So I went back down South for the weekend...and it was a much needed break from the hectic non-stop life here in New York City. It was fantastic seeing my close friends and family and catching up more importantly. What made this visit extra special was my brother coming home! We surprised my mother which was a treat :). She hasn't seen both her kids since well...Christmas how sad is that? I literally gained at least 5 lbs because I didn't stop eating. Let me tell you the life of me: So Saturday morning at 8:30 my father was pounding on my door. I am in a deep sleep and was so confused..woke up. And this is what he said to me "get up and get dressed we are going to Golden Corral for breakfast." For those of you that don't know what this Golden Corral is its a unlimited buffet...and it's no Plaza Hotel buffet. Its the reason why United State is so obese compared to other countries. It is an unlimited breakfast: sausage, eggs, biscuit and gravy, desserts, etc. So I went and my family/friends and ate the unlimited breakfast. I felt so full afterwards. I swear shopping down south is WAY much better than shopping here in nyc. The sales people are more pleasant, shopping experience is nicer and people AREN'T pushy!! I didn't want to come back how sad is that?? I love going home!!! My mother leaves the country in a couple weeks..butttt on a happier note my father is coming to visit!!! Yippeee!!

Ok- So Mark texted me on Thursday when I was back at home and said "Hope you have fun this weekend with your family!" And I got that once I landed and got off the plane. That was so sweet so I texted him on Saturday to see if we were still on for dinner on Sunday. And we were..soo when I landed back in NYC he texted me the location and time we would be meeting at. For those of you that know me quite well- I'm late..I'm always late to everything. God forbidden I am on time/early to something! Seriously its horrible I know. But this was a legitimate reason- I was waiting for the 6 train to go downtown! I was only 15 minutes late oopsies..and the worst part? I get there and this is the conversation with the host:

Host: Hi are you looking for your party?

Me: Yes I am.

Host: Well, who are you looking for?

Me: umm...can I see if they are there??

Host: You don't know what they look like?

Me: No I do...

Host: well here are some people on this level.

Me: (i'm looking over) oh he isn't here..

Host: are you sure??

Me: yup..(texting mark at this point to let him know i'm here)

Mark pops out of the crowd

Me: oh haha here is he..(thinking: shit..this is awkward...)

So we head onto a table and sit down to look at menu..and we are glancing at each other. Awkward..hahaha!! So he's wearing a Lacoste polo and isn't wearing a white undershirt...thats ok I mean he's a guy right? I've never seen that before...but he's a burly man. A little bit of gel in the hair....he could get away with being an italian guy. He's cute. I will give him that! So we decided to share an appetizer and get an entree (the dishes are large).

Conversation was great!! No complaints in that department. HOWEVER (goddamn it there is that awful word) his voice...he was not what I was expecting. Since he was a burly-er man I was expecting a deeper voice..and I am not saying he sounded like a girl. It was a bit...metro-ish. Sounded like Nathan Lane from The Birdcage (movie). At the beginning of the date I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing because I thought of that movie...and maintained my composure. Immature..I know!

Nonetheless, conversation was fluid and we had some great laughs, exchanged stories, talked about the good ole college days, discussed about our friends, and future summer plans. I give this a 3.5 to 4 out of 5 stars!

Here are some top Match.com stories! So before I left for home I had the balls to finally send out a bunch of messages to guys! I literally sat there and used the same line..and sent them out. Ok I should get some props for doing that lol. Its nerve racking!! I've sent out 15 e-mails and I've gotten 35 responses. Which is pretty good granted they may not be the one that I want to talk to...blah!

EU- Ok so he's a European guy..and I sent him a message saying how I loved his writing in his profile which was in all honesty! And I was thinking that could be a great conversation starter. Homeboy denied me and responded with "Thanks. Thats so kind of you to say so." I GET IT! He's Just Not That Into You!

Sean- another asian guy...really? Cute picture and his message was actually good! He said "of the 10 criteria you have listed, I think I'm missing one. Is this e-mail still valid :P" Kudos to you for a good opener and I shall respond!!

Oar- So he's a pretty decent looking guy...downside is that he has a receding hair line. And I can't tell what he will actually look like because each pic he looks different in!! But he said to me "I am a mind reader! When are you going to ask me for a drink :)?" So I guess I should respond right? Thats the nice thing to do..he seems decent. So we shall see! Responding! Check.

Latin- HE IS 46 YEARS OLD. Seriously match.com where is the age filter?? He wants to chat with me..ain't happening buddy! Lo siento senor.

Eric- AHHH I winked at him and he is SUPER cute, well established (he did peace corp in Africa), volunteers, seems to be very intelligent!! And this is what he said "Hey sorry I am just responding to your wink. It has been a crazy week and although I am definitely interested in getting to know you. Until now I haven't had a chance to get on here and respond. So what is your name? Are you from NY? If not where do you hail (he's so southern!!!!) from? I moved to NYC in December from Maryland and while I didn't particularly enjoy the winter here now that the weather is getting better I am really starting to enjoy and appreciate NY. I will be looking forward to hearing from you. Ciao" NO WORRIES MESSAGED BACK ALREADY!!!

Torpe- This guy is a creepier...I mean I thought Levi was nasty!! He said "Hello I am looking for good female friends to hang out, share nice conversation, laughs. I am not looking for relationships because I am gay. But just looking for platonic female friends." I went onto his profile and first off CREEPY picture, and secondly he is ONLY interested certain women. Gross.

Disappointment

So today I had two dates set up- 1) dinner with Mark and 2) drinks with matt

Well, work decided to pick up after our client lunch at ooh I don't know 2 PM. I was at the office till 8:30 and had to cancel on Mark and Matt. I was so bummed..I guess bad timing right? So I texted Mark..it was great convo but I guess I'm too much for him..He seems a bit shy? I'm not sure. I feel like I am really working him up to be like this great guy and its just going to be really disappointing..I need to like have low expectations when I see him!! And Matt well he just seems like a douche. But hey who knows!

My friend Bradley brought this to my attention...I told her that I was still at work and she goes "damn, last wednesday was just like this too. Sorry pal!" And that just brought back some memories...I had a date that night to go see Hot Tub Time Machine with this guy. And well had to cancel last minute on him too. My job is my relationship right now. How sad is that?


Today my boss was ridiculous...she had to go see the clients and was wearing jeans. Well, at my company when you go see clients you have to change into dressier clothing...she asks for a huge favor and she said "can you go out and buy me some black dress pants? Here is my credit card." Shes my boss and I can't say no. So I headed over to Bloomingdales and charged it! Weird right? Speaking of my boss...Its sometimes so frustrating dealing with her-its like she enjoys me tripping up or making mistakes because then she can yell at me. I secretly think she enjoys yelling at me how sad is that?

Amber and Jessie are still two peas in a pod! And I've slowly realized that it's not even worth it anymore for me to get so worked up about. Life's too short!

So I log onto Match.com today and a gentleman named Levi messages me and says "want to play?" now I went through his profile. What a douchebag as well! My god you are 30 years old and trying to really get with me? I'm sorry but I don't think so. I messaged him back and said "Really?" as in REALLY YOU SICK FUCK. HE REPLIES BACK TO ME "Cum over!!" and I don't reply THEN HE PROCEEDS to say "get in a cab :)" KEEPS GOING he says "you coming? kisses all over your body Andre" DISGUSTING done. good bye! What is this an on-line brothel?!?!?!

Last night was really ballsy for me!! I messaged guys ahhh! hahahaha well all of 3 lol! But one did reply OAR- He said "hey you seem like a really nice girl! are you new to the city?" He is that tall, goofy, and awkward kind of guy! My favorite :):)! So we will see.

Dave- "Hi I saw your profile..and I like what I see! So if your interested write back and we will go from there ;)" hahahaha ok corny VERY. Umm a bit more on the mature side and I'm not just saying his profile BUT LOOKS! One of my best friends Brittney is dating a guy that is 36 years old and she is so happy with him! He is a great guy and the best part he doesn't look nor act like his age. This guy on the other hand looks older than what he is saying..NEXT

NYCAZN- oh god..another asian! I don't discriminate at all. I love all ethnicities. He has good rapport and can keep a conversation flowing. However, the downside is he lives in Long Island...I don't do bridge and tunnel people (aka nj and LI) jk jk! Like i said i love everyone! Well he asked about my career, siblings, and actually had a good joke. He apparently lives in a predominately white building and the people have asked him "are you the asian delivery guy??" bahahahahaha! So lets see if he can handle me!

My friend Bianca really likes NYCAZN and says I need that awkward guy....how sad is that? god

Ok I think I'm slowly getting the hang of this Match.com business. I can't just sit there I gotta be proactive I feel like. This isn't like the real world...in order to land dates I gotta put myself out there errr...

Eye Catching

Tonight was grand! We had a client dinner and function afterwards...its always nice getting wined and dined!

Work wasn't too busy it was nice to be able to relax and go with the flow for once.

I had my first reject...I am slighly embarssed! I winked at this guy MTL and said "no thank you" HOW RUDE. Ok I just laugh it off when people wink at me because its awkward! But seriously no thank you?? NO OFFENSE you ain't that hot mister.

How am I suppose to optimize my match.com?? Like do I actually send people messages?? Is that what I'm suppose to do..in today's society we are taught that girls should start approaching guys and how men love it. But then down south its quite the opposite make the guys come to you. So am I suppose to sit there and wait for a guy to come approach me by winking or sending me a message?? What is the proper etiquette for this?

Indianguy IM's me tonight and I don't know how to ignore these damn IM's because I'm not INTERESTED! I don't respond and he says this "hey love your picture", "how are you", "I'm so tired...", "are you the shy type...??" umm if I haven't responded to you within I don't know 10 minutes that means I'm not in to you!!

Man- great guy, asian, seems really sweet, he is an engineer, lives in Brooklyn. This is his message to me I've shorten it because its a book- Hey! I've been wanting to do some touristy things and really learn about Manhattan/NYC. I've never really done the whole double decker, visit Coney/Ellis Island, The last couple of weekends I've been doing road trips and I recently went to Boston. I'm planning a trip to Washington D.C. your more than welcome to join...haha yeah I know we've never met but I'd give you the benefit of the doubt that you won't kill me hahaa! I'm a fire fighter at night to keep my mundane life interesting". Where do I even begin?? Oh I don't know that I've only spoken to you maybe two times and you want to do a road trip (7 hour car ride) with a girl you've never met. Not gonna lie seems kinda desperate? But lets be honest everyone on Match.com has some percentage of desperate in them...look at me lol! But no seriously...too soon!!! How the hell do I respond to this??

Ace- He said to me " I enjoyed viewing your profile. I enjoy spending time with close friends and family. I love to travel and take long road trips upstate for a weekend of camping and hiking. Not to mention places where its warm and tropical! My passion is cooking. Love to create all sorts of dishes. Making my friends laugh is a great thing. I love to tell jokes and make them laugh all the time. I love to go dancing at lounges. On a serious side, I have a strong family values and manners. Am a responsible person with a professional career. I am in search of a soul mate. Explore world together hand in hand! Hope to hear from you soon"
WOW. Deep e-mail as you can see. Seemed like a decent guy until I clicked on his profile...bald, has a landing strip on his CHIN. DONE moving on. GOOD LUCK SEARCHING!!!

I'm going on a date tomorrow evening with Mark. I'm a bit nervous..what happens if I'm not what he's expecting?? What happens if he isn't what I'm expecting?? I don't know what I'm wearing yet alone what about conversation topics?? I feel like this is high school dating again!!

Matt messaged me and to be quite honest he is getting to be too cocky. I told him the days I was available and how I will be going home. He said he loves people from where I am from and his days vary day by day. Well honey, I am not doing something last minute you gotta give me at least 24-48 hour notice.

The 15 guys I winked at last night...I got nothing! Nobody has winked back or messaged me. What do I do? I guess I should start sending messages?? This is so weird..who woulda thought I would be doing on-line dating?? WEIRD.

Updated.

So Mark (aka the cute 27 year old) asked me if I would be free to hang out when I come back. So perhaps a first date?? Ahhh!!

Ok this is a creepy message from Pierre-I guess a little about me might help I moved to NYC about 5 years ago..before that I live in London, Paris, Geneva. Mother is italian and french, father is belgian. I grew up between Geneva and Paris. I'm mixed and enjoy meeting people with various backgrounds. These days, I do a fair amount of traveling which I very much enjoy, but asl go to FL quite often to escape the NYC cold. I am just back from 2 weeks in Europe and Asia..it was great but tiring. How was your weekend? I went to Florida for 3 days last week and had to come back tonight :( I wish I could have stayed for the weekend, but have to do immigration stuff on friday :(:(. Talk to you soon.

Ok first off pal- 33 years old...a bit older for me. But its ok I won't discriminate. Secondly, wtf? Did I ask for a life story?? I mean seriously...what happened to the whole "hey how are you?" instead of telling me your life story! ughhhh.

SOO let me tell you about my day-

Work was uneventful and it was so nice!!! I work with these two girls Amber and Jessie...its kinda sad at times. They are so close and I feel so left out when they are always together. I always see them talking at work via IM'ing, or going to the bathroom together. But I'm trying so hard not to let it get to me nor take it personally. I have to keep myself busy. Can't let them bring me down!!!!

I am so twisted...I worked out hard core today after work and I swung by Crumbs (a cupcake place..that is about 500 calories in each one) I'm a true fatty.

Walking out

So this morning when I left my apartment I realized oh my god what happens if a guy see's me on the street is on match.com?? I started freaking out a little because I felt like I was getting stared out. Maybe its my imagination?? I cannot believe I am signed up for match.com!

What do I do if I run into a guy that like winks at me equivalent to a poke on Facebook, or the one that messages you? I am so worried that I am going to get stopped at Trader Joes and a guy say "hey I just winked at you..how you doin?" I would be beyond mortified..or maybe what happens if someone approaches me at the bar? How do I respond to that?

And another point- what happens if I go on a date and the guy does NOT look like the guy in the picture. How do I react to that?? I mean do I say your picture lied? And what about myself? What happens if the guy says umm your much prettier in the picture compared in person.

Last point- what happens if I meet the perfect guy? How do you tell your family and friends oh by the way I met him on MATCH.COM! Can you imagine the comments and remarks I may get? Am I being silly and doing this??

So far the responses have been pretty good. I can't decide if I should start prowling on guys or do I wait for them to come to me? What is the proper etiquette about on-line dating? I guess I should start winking at guys and see what may happen. I think I also may spice things up and find some creepy guys hahaha :)!

Mrk- I responded to his e-mail granted he is 27 thats ok...I mean a it older is fine..more experience right?? Well, he asked me what I have planned for this week..so lets hope for a date!! His pictures are pretty cute and I mean who knows right??

Man- Ok not gonna lie this is the first time I've like talked to an asian. Hahahaha how awful is that? I mean lets give him the benefit of the doubt. I am a bit hesitant because he messaged me at like 2 PM and I was at work. Does this guy not have a job?? No job no date lol. He Im"ed me..and said "hey cutie" I can't...I just ugh...hahahaha

Matt- He asked me what I was up to this weekend so maybe drinks?? He is SO my type!!! Cute, preppy, tall!!, not gonna lie he seem cocky/prick like...errr whatevs

Butta- He seems like an interesting character I can't tell if he is "hood" or a frat boy. He is a 6'3 ginger!!! I mean no problems I have an open mind! But again he messaged me earlier in the day...so what does he do?? Not sure...

Tonight a guy named Chris IM's me. Problems and red flags: He's 40 YEARS OLD, doesn't live in the city, is "hollering" at me. Ok match.com wtf? where is this age filter thing?? And secondly don't talk to me you can be my father freak.

So I winked:
at a northern gentleman (25 finance, super prep and so cute!)
jackattack (eh..kinda attractive, finance, 26)
africalover (worked in the peace corp and is now in finance, really cute and clearly has a good heart)
will (super cute, finance, 25)
mtl (he's worked abroad in china-such as hong kong, shanghai as a banker 26, SUPER cute!!)
italian love (OMG so hot!!! european!!)
Joe (he's asian!, use to be a finance guy and now owns his own photography business in nyc and nj, loved his pics, really cute, seems down to earth)
PJ (is 26, really cute!!, but i'm a bit worried...under about his date he put african american, native american and thats it..soo problemo??)
Dave (seems like a sweet guy as well...world traveler!, but again..has a thing for african american and hispanics...uhhh)

Its official...

So its official...

I am a part of the Match.com community! Woo!

I've gotten some really random weirdos. Let me give you a taste of it-

Niceguy said "Your BEAUTIFUL. Want to talk to a nice guy from NYC?" ok listen up buddy thats not how you start a conversation. If i want someone like that I would go to a bar and wear a low cut top and say "does anyone wanna go home and bang me?" step it up..and plus he isn't that attractive. I'm sorry I have standards.

This reminded me of a night a Joshua Tree. This 5'4 guy approached my roommate and i and I was NOT interested in him. First off I am 5'6 and wearing 3 inch heels. I completely ignore him as he chats it up with my roommate and she pulls me aside and says "he is so into you!! He thinks your absolutely gorgeous." Ok listen not trying to sound bitchy but had the guy been maybe 5 inches taller we would have chatted it up. Hence why my match.com profile says about him: TALL!

Andy said "Hi there how are you doing? My name is andy and I recently moved to Seattle not too long ago. I am trying to meet new friends and adjust to my new life. Would you know if there are fun things to do out there from nyc?" Where should I even being in this message? I am living in New York..how the hell would I know whats going on in SEATTLE, WASHINGTON?!?! I've never even been there!! That is ridiculous I tell ya.

Matt said "hey there really random are you free for a drink tonight? I just have nothing to dooooooo" Do i seem like the kind of gal that just jumps into a date that quickly? Shouldn't he be trying to build some type of rapport before asking me to do drinks?? I mean confusing!!! But not gonna like he's so my type (preppy, LOVES BOATING!!!, cute, athletic) and you know what? He seems to be like a prick..so clearly I am interested..wtf is wrong with me??

Mark said "Hey there! I would like to start out and introduce myself and say hi. I've been catching up on my Mad Men lately but I'm sure the advertising culture is different compared to what it was like in the 60's hahaha. I work in the financial analyst industry and actually follow the advertising agencies. Quite interesting. Hope you had a great weekend. What part of the city do you live in?" NOW that was a gentleman and he seems legit. He's cute actually a bit older 27...err but who knows right? The fact that he took the time to read my profile was nice...

Musicncharts said "Hey i loved your profile you seem like a lot of fun and really down to earth. I grew up in New York but moved to CT 8 years after graduate school. I love to laugh, go out, listen to music, work out. Music and art galleries are a passion of mine. I work in finance management and slowly finishing up on my second masters. I also enjoy improving my house as well. I would love to hear more about you and I can send you pic as well." Match.com needs to have a filter where I don't want to talk to guys older than 30. He's 35. First off, he doesn't have a profile picture..which really worries me because well...I don't need to finish that sentence. Secondly, the type of "girl he is looking for" is ASIAN ughhh I hate it when guys have that asian fetish going on. Really..do you like me or my culture?? Am I just some freaky desirable thing to you?? NO THANK YOU!

Thats just a taste from SOME of the messages...I'll write more later! Toodles.

First Time

So this is my first entry as a blogger. Well, I guess I should just cut to the chase and not bullshit around.

As a recent newbie to New York I've realized how lonely it can be. I've tried putting myself out there with my friends and their friends. But in such a large city one can get lost in the commotion of it all. I don't want to rely on my friends because I want to branch out and meet my own. I guess thats where my independence comes into play. I miss all of my friends and family down South. At times I second guess my decision to moving to New York. Am I happy? Do I think I'd be happier back home? Do I regret this? Am I being ridiculous? Everyday is a different answer to those questions...I wish someone would have told me how hard it was in New York. But one thing for certain- I don't regret moving up here. I guess its all a part of growing up. I know it will take time and I just have to learn how to be patient.

How long do I have to be patient for? Three months? Six months? A YEAR?!

I've been really proactive and trying to keep a positive attitude. I'm not a really religious person so I've been going to church..do I believe in everything they say hell no! I just enjoy listening to the sermon and its nice to have some sort of routine/structure in my life. Today's passage was about Joy three key points (what is joy, how joy is different for christians, and where to find it). It was a hit! You have to go through suffering and pain to really appreciate the joy around your life. Thats what makes it special. I guess you have to take the good and bad right? Its a balance.

I also joined Meetup.com- which is a website for people to meet up and share their hobbies with others. I haven't gone to any of the meetings yet..but I am and will! I've signed up to do movies and such. So we will see.

Now this is the juicy part- So not only have I decided to write a blog BUT I have decided to join match.com! Gah...that is so not me either! I am doing this for entertainment purposes..and I'm not gonna like maybe I'll get a good couple of dates out of it. I am not having any high expectations...nor will I say what my user name is. I hope to share my experience with everyone about this.

This entry is about first time for everything....Do you remember your first time kissing a guy? Or maybe your first boyfriend? What about your first best friend?

Looking back I feel so old...My first kiss wasn't till high school!! Wowza...and my first boyfriend? ahhh good ole smitty silverburg ;) and my best friend Andrea Tutu.

Hope you will enjoy reading this blog!!